The One Holiday I Hate...

I came to love yesterday...



And all I have to say is...


Ohh Myyy Goodness.

:o)

Pietro and Consuelo.

I sit here. Staring at the empty screen. Listening to Frank Sinatra, Beegees, and Luis Miguel. Tears come down my face. All I can think about is the pain I’m causing them. My eyes. Red. My hands. Shaking.

I miss them. A lot.

When people ask me, “Jess, who you live with?” I always respond, “Alone.” And the automatic response is “Omg, that’s so cool. I wish I didn’t have to live with my parents.” But honestly, you don’t understand this pain that has been aching for months now. Its not home sickness. I’ve lived in NY for almost 3 years without them, and it feels like an eternity. I mean, I love being on my own. Shit, I’ve taken care of myself since I was in the 5th grade. But now, it hurts. And it doesn’t only hurt me, it hurts them more. How dumb could I be? How selfish am I? My parents, the ones that took care of me, walked me to school, packed my lunch, took me to the doctor, taught me how to live… I just walk out of their life. They cried as I drove off in my car on my way to New York, and I didn’t shed a tear? I thought my life might be better alone. And now I feel the pain. I hurts. More than you can imagine. More than your first love, more than hearing someone talk shit about you, more than falling from thousands of feet. Shit, I cant even see the fucking screen cause these tears make everything so blurry.

Honestly, it hurts. No one understands.

Well, I don’t really know what more to say but to cherish what you have because honestly you never know what will happen. And stop for a moment, and take a look around. See who you are hurting cause you might be able to change it before it too late.

Eyyyy Yoooo....